I came back not to blog about something unnecessary, but this is the only place I can express out my feelings.
I am a person that easily get confused. I can't hold my feelings yet I am trying to pretend that I am fine. I am always in dilemma, dunno which is better for me. And now, I am really tired of it. I know I am selfish, I know, and I am so sorry for being one. I have gone through and now I am going through again.
I miss the days which I have no worries, but only laughter that occupies my day. I miss the days which I wont simply think of nonsence, but only love him with all my heart.
No matter how hard I cried, no matter how much tears that fall, I just can't seem to know what I want. I am scared to lose yet want to get something better. I know I am being selfish, I am asking for more that what I deserved. But thats me.
I wish things can get better, I wish our relationship can get better, I wish I can stop thinking unreasonable stories. I got nothing left to lose except him. I don't want to lose him, but I just can't seem to make up my mind. If I am given a choice now, I hope everything will get better as the days pass by. I can only wish for a better life but not returning back to where I was.
'' I have what I want in the passed,
I lost what I have this moment,
and I will get back what I once have in the future,
and I promise I will''

be tough XS,

you can get it through..